Helpless...

daddywithava

The loss of control is very annoying indeed. No one wakes up in the morning thinking, Hmm...I think I might try to feel helpless and stuck today. And it's especially unpleasant when you're woke up at 2am with a sick child, as we have been, this very morning. Now mind you, Mommy is doing most of the work. She's gone into my little girl's room (multiple times) and picked her up out of bed assuring her that everything is okay. She's cleaned her up from the repeated throw-up sessions and at this point is just holding her as she sleeps.

I've realized I have some options at this point. The power to choose is a power that we never give up...even when we don't want it. And so I can choose to feel helpless. I can choose to feel stuck as if there is nothing I can possibly do, or I can do something. It's time to engage.

My first inclination is to become SuperDad. I'm on the case. I want to know what happened. Did she eat or drink something to make her sick? What are we doing to stop it. Does she need a drink of something? How about some crackers? When did these symptoms occur? Was she around anyone that was sick?

As men, we just want to fix things. I want to make it better right now. It's a good thing you can't pay money to stop a child from throwing up...I'd be completely broke. I would pay any amount to stop this right now. But I can't. It doesn't work that way. So I try other things. I start thinking of solutions and...

...wait.

...I can't fix this.

...no matter what I do.

...but God can.

God can do something about this. And I know that in the grand scheme of things, this isn't too high on the scale-o-importance, but dangit if God loves my little girl more than I do then I know he wants to do something about this. And so I press in. Rather than looking in the cabinets I can choose to kneel down beside my bed and ask that God would grant us a little more love for tonight. It is in my helplessness that I can actually begin to feel...helped.

It is in my inability that I can place hope and trust in His ability. God loves Ava more than I ever could. Armed with this knowledge my blood pressure is able to relax a few points. She's yours God...just like everything else. Take care of her will ya?

* This doesn't mean I'm not going to run to Walgreens at 3am for cheesy crackers, cotton balls, sprite, and ginger-ale. I'm still the dad.

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I'm not exactly sure what the cotton balls are for. It's late / early.

14 waggish utterances thus far...:

Helen Ann said...

If it helps to not feel alone, I was up late with a hacking, gagging Bentley late last night into early morning as well, doing my own praying and rebuking of sickness. God is always merciful.

Hope Ava Beans feels better soon!!

ariadne-21 said...

There must be something going around... I was up with my daughter all nite.. She single-handedly threw up on every piece of furniture in the house.. except my bed, she waited until this morning to do that :( She is finally sleeping, and I am looking forward to a caffeine-fuel day o'laundry.

Hope your little one feels better soon

Tracy said...

Maybe she has what peepa had on sunday. He felt sick all day.....he never throws up though. Is she going to let grandma take care of her today?

Anonymous said...

What I really want to know is, was your cashier named Rodney or Randy? The receipt gives two different names!
Hope she feels better soon!

Snobound said...

Your little one will be in my thoughts and prayers this morning, as will you and Allison - caring for a sick child is just heart breaking and nerve wracking. Thank goodness the Lord is always in control - even when we feel out of control.

Blessings!

DanThoms said...

Aw nuts, she was so full of energy when I left last night. Maybe it was that fake chicken soup that she fed to every person and canine in the room. I hope she feels better. Raise the roof, raise to roof.

Erin said...

That gave me a little insight into what my husband is feeling when our daughter has thrown up. I think her being 2 months old and us being new parents makes things more intense and upsetting. Or maybe we'll always feel that helpless when she's sick.

But at the end of the day, I pray that we are watched over. And I thank Him for our family and blessings.

Hope your little one feels better soon and your wife gets some needed rest!

Bonnie said...

That helpless feeling sucks. I've spent many a night fitfully dozing in a rocking chair holding a sick toddler. In fact, we must have been on the same insomniac train last night because I had a coughing 4 year old sleeping with me. Armed with Vicks vapor rub, throat spray, and some herbal tea with honey, the night was looooong.

Hope Ava feels better.

DanThoms said...

Ps. Now I feel sick.

Anonymous said...

Yeeeuuuuuuumy photo!! Her cheeks are foooooofee!!!

Pooor you... watching a small kid suffer has to be the worst kind of purgatorial torture :(

Sarah VM said...

I hope she feels better soon!

What a good Daddy you are!

Anonymous said...

She probably ate some Pizza Lunchables.

Not Too Old said...

popsicles. works every time at stopping the vomiting. this advice from an old experienced country doctor-my dad. And now they make ones that are clear, just in case it takes two to work...

Jenny said...

You're such a sweet Daddy and father. So sweet. I'm so glad she's feeling better and I have just one question. Why did it take Randy annnnnd Rodney to check you out at 3 a.m. in the morning? Are they that sleepy that it takes two folks to do the job of one?

:)