I'm sore right now. Some arrows have been shot my direction this week and I've once again proven to myself that I am unable to do this by my own strength. Sheer willpower alone cannot allow me to ignore or shrug off direct attacks on my character. I realize these are normal, and that anyone in ministry for any period of time will tell me they're to be expected...but it doesn't make this sting go away.

Some of the arrows were warranted...and I'm taking a hard look at them. I'm making promises to myself to examine who I am and the things I'm for...it's tough, but it's worth it.

I guess sometimes I'm just amazed at the expectations certain people will thrust upon you. And when you don't meet these expectations, you've failed them. Does this make you a failure? I'd certainly hope not. It's just that there are certain things that I have to say no to because I've already said yes to others. While I realize this is how it has to be, the gears jam now and again and need to be reset. I've messed up more times than I'd care to think about, but I want to live well and see others thrive around me.

A man of many missions once said:

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

It's in the book of Ephesians it's rocking my face off right now. I feel like I know what my calling is...it's just the distractions along the way that keep throwing me off the trail.