A husband's observation...


A new revelation has not come upon me. I didn't just notice something. No, this observation has been re-cognizant throughout my five years of marriage. I'm also certain that I am a part of a much larger group of males who have experienced this same matrimonial torment as I. To that which I am speaking:

Anybodyelseitus.

Anybodyelseitus effects all males between the stages of marriage and death. Anybodyelseitus primarily effects the Annoy Bones and Self-Confidence area of the male brain. Anybodyelseitus most commonly results in mild adult temper tantrums and a slight eye twitch.

Many diseases can be the result of various causes. Anybodyelseitus is not this way. It's cause is very pointed, and that is, when your wife listens to anybody else but you. Consider this:

"Hey honey, I was thinking that you'd look pretty darn good with shorter hair. Waddaya think?"

"Nah...I like the length of my hair. You don't like my hair?"

"What? Your hair looks great...I was just thinking you might want to get crazy and do something different, that's all. No big deal."

"I don't think so...short hair just wouldn't look good on me."

"Okay, that's cool."

* Fast-forward time to approximately 8 days later *

"...what do you mean you're getting your hair cut off? I thought you said you wouldn't like it."

"Well I was talking to Julia and she said that I could pull it off. I thought you wanted me to get my hair cut."


Crazy? I think not. As this evidence clearly states, my wife has listened to someone else rather than me. Please note that the topic of my wife's hair being cut off is merely an illustration for proving a point. And that point is, my wife, and I'm pretty sure every man's wife, has the disease of Anybodyelseitus. What's up with that?

Why do our wives, the very women who have promised before God and the great state of wherever the heck you were married, listen to cereal boxes or Oprah or that guy wearing the statue of Liberty outfit during tax season rather than us, the husbands?

Chime in on this one.

7 waggish utterances thus far...:

DanThoms said...

Julia is a professional, I would listen to her over you too.

Ryan Allen Doan said...

I hope someone comments with the answer to this one. I need to know. Until then I will just accept things the way they are.

Steve said...

It's not just married people that have this issue...

lizzytro said...

I'll have you know that i listen to my husband when it comes to hair...and clothing. He really does know better than me, and quite frankly, we both agree about the length of my hair.

Helen Ann said...

Generally speaking women trust women and gay men the most when it comes to hair and attire.

Tracy said...

I know that she loves and respects you and that, ultimately, yours is the opinion that matters most. If she doesn't put you first, then I have failed as a mother.

Steve said...

While my wife listens to me about her hair and clothes there are other things that she simply ignores me on.