The Toothless Wonder...


I've taught myself to smile in a way that you'd probably never notice. The first time I ever went to the dentist was when I was 19 years old. My teeth were already in bad shape (read severe periodontal disease) so they didn't handle the impact very well at all.

Scoop after scoop there wasn't a problem. I loaded tree limbs, brush and all sorts of debris into the wood chipper without an issue. The last armful did me in though. I had raked together the last bits of what I was chipping and tossed it all into the TreeDestroyer2000. There was a stone that made it's way into the pile and when I dropped it into the chipper it dropped me. The rock fired back out at me with such force that it knocked my two front bottom teeth in. Knocked in to the point that they were not salvageable. I had them pulled out a couple days later.

It must be some kind of generational curse or something.

But hey, at least I can relate to certain people now.

Anyone have an extra five grand laying around for me to get some implants?

5 waggish utterances thus far...:

DanThoms said...

You are referring to teeth implants, correct?

Ryan Detzel said...

I intentionally left that one open for you Dan.

Helen Ann said...

I work in a classroom full of kids who are losing teeth everyday. I could see if any of them would like to donate a couple to you. A little bit of Polident oughta hold 'em.

carrie doan said...

What if you tried some white Play-doh?

melanie said...

Cracker Jack is dying to lose his bottom teeth. I can let you know when the tooth fairy is needed. Not that I'm calling you a fairy or anything...