A Beautiful Collision...

I'm still feeling crappy, but I've decided to think of more positive things to protect myself from an onslaught of whinyness.

It's cold. It's raining outside. I'm sick. It's Monday. Our pet's heads are falling off!! One might begin to wonder how anyone could be in a good mood under these circumstances. It may surprise you to find out that I've got a remedy for this day. It may not work for you since you aren't me though, but I'll share mine with you.

* Step 1 - Coffee

Now if I were at home this step would be pretty easy. I'm not at home though. I'm at the hobby store. The hobby store coffee is super double nasty. There's no cream or sugar to put in it and it's a physical impossibility for me to consume this tripe plain.

Solution = Chocolate Mints! Toss about 8 or 9 of those little puppies in there and you've hit gold!!

* Step 2 - Recall high-point of the weekend.

This step was also not easy because I had a great weekend. We hosted soirees and partied like it was 2007. We went to hear live music provided by angsty teenagers. We went out to eat and our food was paid for. We even got to hang out with lots of friends. Overall, it was an excellent couple of days. Thinking back though, only one event stands out that truly brings a snicker to my belly and a schoolboy grin to my face.

Johanna wrecked into some dude with her body.

Several of us were leaving a secret restaurant, we'll call it Emerald Wednesday's. Johanna was departing from our group in the parking lot and right as she turned to head to her car there was another group of people blocking her path. I have no idea why this other group was walking so closely, but let's just say that this was a serious hockey-style body check. The alpha male of the group who was leading the parade took the full-force hit. He didn't see it coming, she didn't see it coming. At an average walking speed of 3.5 mph each this would have been a full 7 mph crash.

I'm actually quite surprised that neither of them fell down on the ground. I feel blessed by God to have been given the opportunity to see such an amazing sight with my own eyes. The guy was a total jerk about it and I don't think I've ever seen Johanna so embarrassed. She ran to her car trying to save some face, but we were all rolling on the ground laughing.

David Crowder sings a song called beautiful collision. I know what his song is about, but from this point forward the phrase beautiful collision will have a different meaning for me. If you happen to see Jo somewhere make sure you either ask her if she's hockey-checked anyone recently or just start singing beautiful collision and walk away. It'll be our little secret.

Boom!! Body Check!!

3 waggish utterances thus far...:

Steve said...

I always knew Johanna was a brute at heart.

Ryan Allen Doan said...

wish I could have seen that one.

Andrea said...

I was there and I missed it, how is this possible, I did see all of the laughter to ensue and I was quite jealous