Need Spider Assistance...

spider

Now while I'm fairly certain the above spider is a Wolf Spider, I have been biten by a Brown Recluse before. It was a couple of years ago and I must admit that it was one of the more painful experiences in my life. I had to seek medical assistance and even though I was bitten on my ribs, I had anxiety attacks for six months every time I went to slip on my shoes.

Honestly, I'm not terribly concerned with the subject now, but we do have lots of spiders in our house lately. I don't want to mention any names, but some people around here *cough* Ryan and Carrie *cough* have been freaking out about the spiders. We've been seeing one spider every 1-2 days inside the house over the last couple of weeks. Most I have seen look like this one above, but there have been a couple other varieties.

Any professional spider slayers out there?

34 waggish utterances thus far...:

puddleboy said...

Kill it with fire ... it's the only way to be sure.

Steve said...

Nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Carly said...

I can't help you in any way. I can sympathize though. We have had black widows in our house all summer...I am terified that one's going to bit my dog.

Good luck!

puddleboy said...

I think steve may be on to something here...

http://nukeitfromorbit.com/

momofonefornow said...

ewwwwww...I got the heebie jeebies just looking at it. We are having spider issues as well. One year we had an exterminator come out and spray. It helped a little bit.

Bonnie said...

Oh man, I'm totally skeeved. But if you want, I can trade you the scorpions we seem to be finding in our house. I keep having nightmares about Alex seeing one and toddling over saying "pretty, pretty" and trying to pick it up.

Jessica said...

There's this bug bomb stuff you can get that my parents used to use on our house growing up. We had an abundance of centipedes, which is equally if not more disgusting than spiders, and it seemed to work pretty well. But you have to leave the house for at least a day. Good luck!

Ryan Detzel said...

@ Steve & Chris: Are there any side-effects?

Annie said...

I'm freaked out, just seeing the picture of it. I'd be no more help than Ryan and Carrie.

I made your pasta carbonara last night; it was a big hit.

ksw said...

You might try sprinkling diatomaceous earth around the perimiter of your house. It's not a repellent, but it will at least slow down anything that has an exoskeleton or is squishy (like slugs and snails). It's non-toxic. It's made of crushed, fossilized water creatures. It actually cuts the exterior surface of the bug letting it dehydrate and die. It's a fine powder, so you might want to wear a mask when applying and take pets and kids elsewhere until the dust settles.

BFOP said...

I'm pretty sure that's not a wolf spider. Its probably either a funnel web spider or a nursery web spider. They're harmless. Even if it was a wolf spider, they are extremely docile. Wouldn't hurt a soul.
Tell Carrie and Ryan to deal with it. Wimps.

j.w. said...

When we lived in a ground floor apartment outside Cleveland we were infested with spiders. What worked for us was (a) squishing every one we found, (b) an outdoor "house perimeter" repellent spray to keep more from invading, and (c) some plug-in sonic thingies that repell mice and creepy-crawlies. I don't mind spiders when they're outside killing mosquitoes. Once they come IN though, that's the end of any friendly feelings!

EG said...

My husband loves spiders. One time I got in the shower after him, and washed a little house spider down the drain. I mentioned it later and he said, "I just resussitated him!" The spider had gotten wet and he put him on the edge of the tub and blew on him until he was moving again.

Wolf spiders I have NO tolerance for, though. I had a HUGE one in my shoe one time when I put my shoe on. It was so big that Hubby wouldn't even let the dog do battle with it, because he thought the dog might lose that battle.

Lo said...

eeeeeeEEEEWWW!!!!! oh my goodness yuck yuck yuck. i am PETRIFIED of my garage now, bc i found one of these fellows just chillin' near our shoes. i tried to sort of nudge it away to either a)kill it or b)just shoo it out, and the thing JUMPED AT ME. no joke i swear it jumped higher than my waist. like 4 feet. scared the SOCKS off me, i ran out of the garage screaming like a little girl into the street. now, when i need something, i make my husband go in. and god forbid i need something when i'm home alone.... it's like i'm behind enemy lines. i run in and out and then shake my clothes out when i get back inside. the spider was THAT. BIG. the size of my fist. eeek.

when i searched online it said wolf spiders or jumping spiders are harmless... but they so closely resemble the brown recluse that i won't mess around, at all.

if you do find any good solution could you just post a quick blurb sometime? bc i am TOTALLY searching for something that works. hopefully non-toxic.

puddleboy said...

Re: Side effects

Well, from a purely structural standpoint, if you consult this map

Blast Radius Simulation

The inner-most circle represents a blast pressure of appx 15 psi which causes "Complete destruction of reinforced concrete structures"

The second ring is around 5psi which causes "Complete destruction of ordinary houses"

So you are looking at totally leveling an area, north to south, from where boomer hits north bend and where blue rock hits cheviot.

Outside of those two rings, the next two rings represent "extreme damage" to ordinary structures, then "light damage" to ordinary structures.

Note that these side effects do not take into account any sort of radioactive reprecussions or nuclear fallout. Also, increasing the size of the nuclear weapon will (hopefully obviously) increase the radius of the damage. I assumed a 50 kiloton bomb here which, though less powerful than most modern military nuclear weapons, should be more accessible to the standard citizen for spider removal.

Final conclusion: the rewards far outweigh the risks, I stand with Steve here: nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Ryan Detzel said...

Sometimes you just have to sacrifice for the greater good. I'm 78% sure I've made my decision.

puddleboy said...

The key to successfully executing this plan is communitiy involvement. I would, at your next earliest convenience, distribute copies of this film

Duck and cover

to all your neighbors (for their safety!). It's the neighborly thing to do!

Ryan Detzel said...

I'll alert the media post haste.

moncheoPR said...

Get a cat. Helps keeps creepy crawlers out.

Steve said...

Chris - you're huge nerd. I love it.

I'll start digging a fallout shelter.

carrie doan said...

the next spider I find will have it's home on your pillow

love *cough* Carrie *cough*

Ryan Detzel said...

@ Carrie - wouldn't that mean you'd have to come get me to put it on my own pillow?

carrie doan said...

@ ryan - no, I have recently come up with a new use for your favorite spatula

spider + spatula + pillow = no sleep for Ryan

Jennybean said...

We're infested too. I got some hedge balls hoping they would help but there were webs right by them with in a couple days.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osage-orange

Maleia - Senior Product Manager said...

That looks like a wolf spider to me. I'm pretty sure they feast on brown recluses, so you may want to keep them around.

DanThoms said...

I say keep them, its fun to watch Ryan and Carrie freak out.

Jeckie said...

moncheopr, can you please point me to these amazing spider-killing cats? I have FOUR cats, and more spiders than I can kill... The cats look at them in amusement from their perch far, far away, the stupid animals...

I'm with Steve... nuke 'em. (or, you know, move your lamps away from the windows. Spiders like light.)

carrie doan said...

@ Dan - I believe Pastor Ryan made a typo. The corrected post should read *cough* Ryan & Ryan *cough* have been freaking out.

Snopes.com should confirm this for accuracy

melanie said...

Aren't Steve and Dan and Ryan supposed to be working today? Carrie can do whatever she wants and I'm all totally in favor of the spider on Ryan's pillow. Carrie, are the guys there really the ones afraid? I can picture those two freaking out, shaking and shriekin. Puh-lease.

Dana D said...

We use Terminix for quarterly pest control. Last year we were having a problem with spiders around this time of year. When our Terminix guy was at our house, I mentioned it to him. He said that this time of year is just the season for spiders to become more abundant--- thus the traditional Fall/Halloween association with spiders. I hadn't ever thought of that, but it made sense! Either that or I'm really gullable! Hmmm...

Krista said...

That is indeed a picture of a rabid wolf spider. No word of a lie. "Rabid" really. But not really. See what I'm sayin'?
They are actually good to have around, they eat all the other nasty insects ... We have them by the handful here in Texas.

kingcincinnati said...

Dude....I freakin love your blog!

MaLady said...

Okay, Ryan. Yah, the Orkin guy told me there really isn't a spray that works well. I clean buildings, though, and there seems to be a cause and effect with the food supply chain ;-) It seems that if they have nothing to eat they don't stick around. It's the places that open windows or leave food tainted trash inside overnight that have a constant spider presence.

Ma Lady

We have a spider story too but I'll spare you. They were palm size...juicy and hairy...and quick.

julie s. said...

i could come with my shop-vac. i killed a spider who was lurking on our stroller just waiting to launch itself on my 5 year old. i don't really agree with violent acts, but when it comes to protect my loved ones....watch out.