Sometimes you set off to do a certain something and something entirely different comes about. Yesterday, in an effort to put a check mark on the do something active list, Ryan and I decided to go walk on a nature trail. For whatever reason, I remembered Triple Creek; a small park with a fishing lake and exercise/nature trail.

As we made our way towards Triple Creek, which is really only about 10-15 minutes from my house, I realized that we were heading into my mom's old neighborhood. Many interesting memories began to flood in as we got closer and closer.



Upon arriving I realized that I had not been there in nearly 5 years. I used to go there all the time growing up. I can honestly say I've been there more than a hundred times. Over the years I had been there with my mom and dad together while they were still married as well as on my own as an adult. In between that time I had also been there with both of them separately, but mostly with my mom. She would drag my sister and I there to go fishing. Her definition of fishing was a little different though...it mostly involved drinking 40oz beers with random ill-intentioned men and getting high. Often I was told to go play or walk the trail for awhile.



I've walked that little nature trail by myself so many times I could map it out dead nuts without even seeing it. I remember one time when I was very young, I caught a baby duck who was struggling for life all by itself and I rescued it. I didn't know what to do, so my mom sent me over across the street where the park ranger lived. As I knocked on the door a very flamboyant man in only his underwear answered. He went and got his boyfriend, the ranger, who then helped me with the baby duckling. I came back and asked my mom about the two guys and she said, "Oh yeah...they're fags."



As we walked around, I couldn't help but to begin thinking about where we were. We were less than 1 mile from where life took a major turn for the worse with my family. The drug called crack cocaine swept through like a tornado and destroyed everything in it's path. My mom, step-dad, and sister were all seized and there was nothing that I could do about it.



Ryan and I talked about my sister being molested by a man who lived up the street. He claimed that he wanted to take her to church with his kids. He served a couple years in prison...not nearly enough.



Stuff that's escaped you for so long comes back and your hit with emotions that have laid dormant for some time. It's different now though. God has redeemed so much of the sadness and spoken truth to so many lies that I believed over the years. It's our natural inclination to think it's our fault or that we could have done something and stopped the chaos from happening. It's a lie that satan wants us to believe.



On the way home we stopped by my mom's old street to take a look at the little unassuming house that became such a place of despair and addiction. They were so proud of buying that house...and they forfeited it to a life of chasing false reality. Such a shame really.

I'm so glad to remember things like this though. God has given me this special ability to relate to people on many levels. Our experiences shape who we are in some senses...but ultimately it is up to the King of everything to define who we really are. If you're in a place where you're still believing lies about who you really are it's time to step into agreement with who Christ says we are. If you're in a place where you don't like yourself...a place where you don't love yourself, you will never truly be able to love God or anyone else.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as YOURSELF.' "

"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."