I recently returned from a week long hiatus in Florida. My friend Jon (who is from God knows where) says everyone from Ohio vacations in Florida and it's like we don't know how to go anywhere else or something. He's a real dope sometimes.

Anywho...while I was away, mid-trip, I had a serious hankering. You know, one of those times when you get something in your head and you just can't imagine anything else. I wanted an egg salad sandwich. So I made one. You should too.

Start with some eggs. Don't count these...the amount doesn't really matter. Fill up your pan, pot, vessel of choice with enough water to cover the eggs by an inch or so. Pop them on the stove and turn the heat up to high. Let the eggs sit there until the water boils. At this point, remove the pan from the heat and let them sit in the hot water for 12 minutes.


Now that you've waited twelve minutes...run cold water over the eggs until they're cooled off.


Now I don't know about you, but I'm not a huge fan of Celery. It's okay, I use it when I need to. If I don't need to however, I'll use something else.

Enter Cucumber. Chop it up...leave a few extra slices for snacking.


Now zoom in on it to make sure you've chopped it thoroughly.


Now get out a couple other things...I chose Mayonnaise and Old Bay.


Your eggs should be cool by now. Get those babies out of the water and start peeling. Since this is a family-friendly site, I'll spare you the images of egg smooshing. Just smoosh them up good with a fork. Add about a tablespoon of mayo for every two eggs and a dash of seasoning. You can use just salt and pepper if you like. You'd be a real dope though. Toss in your Cucumber and mash it all together.


Toast up some bread, add a slice of lettuce and you're set for a delicious egg salad sandwich. Mmm. Veggcation Salad Sandwich.


Come on now...you can't mess this one up. And I don't want to hear any "Eww, that's gross!" comments from you egg-haters out there. If you do wish to bust on the ultimate eating marvel, you must do so in the form of poetry.

Ryan's Egg Salad:

X number of Hard-Boiled Eggs
1 Tbsp Mayo per 2 Eggs
Old Bay Seasoning
Chopped Cucumber (to taste)