...at war with myself.

I understand your words Paul, when you say that you do what you do not want to do and you don't do what you do want to do. I understand these words.

So much of my time is consumed by selfish thoughts. I want to be this. I want to be that. Why can't I be more like...Why can't I do more of...etc..

In my quest to become less I seem to become greater. I think more about my shortcomings and I don't seem to get anywhere with them. Willpower alone is simply a false advertisement. My heart and my head will both team up against my mouth only to be overpowered again and again. It doesn't matter how much wind blasts into my sails. This tiny rudder called tongue steers me toward destruction.

A boy cries out to his Father repeatedly, but how full are his words? What weight must they be to actually ring true? Take away my selfish ambition...me, me, me.

The death of one's self is longed for by many and found by few. Extinguish the fire provided by fumes of phoniness, self-servitude, and unbelief. Ignite me O Lord with the fuel of life.

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